Talking to an aging parent or family member about getting older, their plans for the future, needing assistance with daily activities or even where to live, isn’t an easy conversation. Although it may be uncomfortable, it’s a necessary conversation to have before an emergency occurs. Here are a few tips from Highpoint at Cape Coral to open the lines of communication and start having conversations about their future.
How To Approach The Next Transition
- Make a list of concerns. Think about what worries you about your parent or loved one living alone. For example, is it their ability to keep track of medications or take care of chores around the house? Write down everything you want to address, but also try to guide the conversation with questions that allow them to express their thoughts and plans.
- Plan a time to talk. Make sure your loved one is aware of your concerns ahead of time so they won’t feel blindsided by the conversation and can put together their own ideas. Let any siblings and other family members know about your planned discussion so they’ll feel included if they can’t be present.
- Educate yourself on different options in senior living. You’ll find a range of options available, from independent living and in-home care to assisted living and continuing care. If you’re realistic about the amount of help your loved one needs, you’ll ensure they end up with the right level of care.
- Try to talk in person. If possible, choose a time when you’re both well-rested and can speak without interruption. Consider a neutral site outside of your loved one’s home and possibly include a person who’s close to the family, such as an attorney, physician, minister or friend.
- Ask questions. Choose words that are supportive and non-confrontational. Be respectful and empathetic to let them know you care about their ideas for their future. Use open-ended questions such as:
“If you decide you would like to move, where do you see yourself living?” “What things do you need help with around the house?” “How has it been for you living at home?” “Have you considered whether you’d like to be around other people your age?” - Listen closely to their responses. Assure them that you are their partner in addressing specific needs or issues in their life. Make sure you are hearing their complete answer before offering your opinion or advice. If the conversation gets too emotional, stop and resume it at a later time.
- Continue the conversation. This process may take some time. As long as you aren’t facing an emergent health issue or significant safety risk, you can plan for future discussions to develop a mutually agreeable plan.
By having this conversation sooner rather than later, you’ll be more easily able to understand your loved one’s hopes and desires for aging, and be better able to help them navigate through life’s transitions. Contact us if you have additional questions or would like more information about Highpoint at Cape Coral.